Paradise
by Tranquillity's Chaos
Summary: 'This could be...para-para...paradise.' Roxas knows it could have been Paradise, but he's already accepted that he won't live much longer. He's content to just drift through the rest of his life, and watch the sun-set, wondering if he'll be alive to see it rise. But Axel doesn't want Roxas to die, how could he? He loves him for Christ sake. AkuRokuStepbro'incest. Angst, death.
1. Chapter 1

**This story, is called Paradise. It is and was inspired by Coldplay's Paradise. **

When she was just a girl,

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

So she ran away in her sleep

And dreamed of…

Para-Para…Paradise

Para-Para…Paradise

Para-Para…Paradise

Ev'ry time she closed her eyes

…

Roxas was quiet in the car while Tifa drove. The gentle rocking of the car while it sped down the highway was soothing to the teen. A song played on the radio, a single line slowly seeping it's way into his memory.

_This could be, Para-Para…Paradise… _

Tifa, hummed along to the song, passing cars in the fast lane before she turned left to a off- ramp.

Outside, the settling sky was beginning to blend into the dusk. Soft blue melted to orange, with stars appearing in the most further of the horizon.

Brilliant, absolutely beautiful blue eyes stared thoughtfully at the far away night. Roxas watched as the moons children encroached on the suns territory before the night could fully bloom.

Resilient blonde locks gave his angelic face character, lit up by baby blues and framed by a rebellious gathering of blonde locks.

Tifa glanced to the side, her darker eyes studied her son, looking for any signs of sickness.

He appeared the same as always, unperturbed and unflappable. Her natural worry, maternal instincts and love for her son clouded her eyes as she smiled sadly.

Her hope be that when the sun was set to rise, Roxas would be as healthy as always.

Wether or not Roxas new his mum was staring at him, he never said. But a it was a strong indication of which it was when he lifted a hand and pointed out the windscreen.

The lights for the off-ramp had turned green.

Hurriedly, but in resignation, Tifa accelerated the blue Honda Civic, shooting past the trees lining the residential roads from the highway.

They passed houses and cars, children and adults, all of them the same under the darkening sky. A life or a being all to live in the world below the stars.

Roxas silence ensued as Tifa sighed. Hard pressed, to get him to speak these days. Anyone that is.

_This could be Para-Para…Para-dise…_

The song had stopped playing now, and the radio station flicked on a new song. Roxas tuned it out, and listened to the song in his head, while Tifa sung to the radio.

_This could be Para-Para…Para-dise…_

Tifa's fingers tapped the steering wheel lightly, Roxas stayed still. Emotions not displayed on his face,

_Para-Para…Para-dise…_

* * *

Soon though, Tifa turned into a drive-way.

A red-van sat battered in front of the garage. A monstrous black beast of a bike inside the actual garage. Pulling up next to the van, Tifa parked and sat back silently.

A breath, maybe a sigh escaped her lungs. It flooded out into the air, drifting in the silent air.

The sky, readily darkening sent elongated shadows to stretch out over the car. Engulfing them in shades of grey.

"Darling," Tifa started. Quiet, her voice was. But it didn't fall on deaf ears.

Roxas sighed and looked up to him mother.

"Yeah, mum?" He whispered.

Tifa bit her lip, an effort not to cry. She reached over and placed a hand on her son's knee.

"Darling, don't worry." She murmured. Heavily lidded eyes looked at Roxas. Unshed tears hung ready to spill. "Don't worry." Tifa sniffed.

Roxas smiled at his mum. It wasn't a happy smile, nor was it bitter.

"Mum, it's you who needn't worry." Roxas said. "Things go on, and you shouldn't let it drag you down."

Tifa's hand shook, the other reaching up to cover her mouth.

"My baby," She whimpered. Her face became shrouded in shadows as Roxas climbed from the car. Her brown hair slid down. Covering her eyes. The car door closed by Roxas, who didn't spare a look back.

Sighing, Roxas rested against the car. His head flopped back to look at the twinkling night.

His hands shoved into his baggy black jean pockets.

_Para-Para…Para-dise…_

Roxas sniffed. It was quiet, the cool air drifting about.

It ruffled his hair gently and cleared his head.

Thoughts of Tifa and Cloud and even Reno and Axel.

Sure, he didn't like Axel, but still. Everything would be sad. He'd never see them again.

Their smiling faces.

Maybe it was for the better. They would be heart broken, well Tifa and Cloud would be anyway.

But it was so unfair to drag them down, keep them stuck in the same place as he slowly faded away.

The thought of dying, to cease to exist. It hadn't hit home, not yet. Roxas knew this, and as he stared up at the sky, his bones began to ache.

That, _that_ did jolt him a little.

"Heh." It almost made him want to cry. But that just wasn't something he could do right now.

All he really wanted to do was lay down to sleep. Let everything float away.

It would be nice. No worries, no regrets. Just a calm, serene feeling.

It would happen, eventually. Soon, and eventually.

**Yes, it was short, but it was an intro. You may be able to guess some things with the plot and story. Leave a review to tell me what you think. Or not, whatever.**

**Also, AkuRoku (if you didn't gather, it's AkuRoku yaoiinceststepbrothersmexyti me). Deal with it. **

**-TC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two is here. To answer my first review, yes, it would be safe to assume that Roxas is suffering from a fatal illness. You'll find out what it is exactly, in this chapter.**

* * *

_Para-para….paradise.._

_This could be…para-para….paradise.._

Roxas was sleepy, even though he'd been asleep since early the night before. As though all his strength had be sapped by his doctors appointment. Although, maybe it was just the symptoms of Cancer.

Sighing, Roxas rolled over and was immediately assaulted by a bright light. It took a moment for him to realise that this evil was in fact the sun. Groaning, he buried his head in his pillow, and willed himself to fall back asleep.

Unfortunately for him, once Roxas had awoken, it was almost impossible for him to fall back asleep. He knew this, but hoped that it would be different, just like everything else now was.

* * *

Teary eyed, Tifa cooked pancakes in silence. The heavy aroma of batter and the faint scent of maple-syrup lingered in the kitchen, making Axel's stomach growl.

Tifa hadn't realised that Axel was awake, much less that he'd made his way down into the kitchen, but the sound of his chair scraping the floor made her jump.

Gasping, she spun around, almost knocking the frying pan from the stove.

It was only Axel, she told herself. Only Axel.

But why was she so jumpy? Even Tifa couldn't figure it out. She kept imaging Roxas stumbling into the kitchen, full of hate, and spitting curses at her.

"_I hate you!"_ He would say. _"It's all your fault! Why don't you _do_ something?!"_

That's the very question she kept asking herself.

"Why don't I do something?" She murmured, barely audible to even her own ears. "Why _can't_ I do something.."

Brows furrowed, Axel looked at his step-mother in confusion.

She'd been this way since last night. All mopey and depressed. Actually, Axel didn't think depressed quite explained the way she was acting, but it was close enough. Almost like she'd lost a child…

"Tifa?" Axel asked, cautiously testing the waters. He didn't like Tifa, not one bit, but he certainly didn't hate her. And when she was in this mood, when _anyone_ was in this mood, it was best to be a little careful. People could be volatile when they were stressed, and Tifa was a bit beyond that point.

"Mmm?"

Tifa's back was still to him, but he could imagine her expression. Airy, careless and unfeeling.

True to his assumption, Tifa's face was the picture of indifference. Her eyebrows were raised, asking the question she hadn't quite mumbled, and her mouth was slack, her eyes taking care to only focus on the bronzing pancakes.

"Are you alright?" Axel asked, tentative and a little wary. He'd seen Reno like this, when his mum had died. He'd seen his cousin like this, when her girlfriend had dumped her. So why was Tifa acting this way? She was still happily married to his dad, and no one had died, so what's the problem?

He wouldn't ask that though. That'd be rude.

"Mm, yes dear," Tifa replied. Not actually paying attention to what Axel had said, her mind too far gone to clearly focus.

Axel exhaled heavily, feeling as though he were a bull that'd snorted.

"Are you sure?" Axel asked, shifting his chair a little, "You've been acting strangely since last night."

"Yes, dear. I'm fine."

Hardly dense enough, was Axel to believe her, but he found it hard to actually be able to tell what was bothering the woman. It really was annoying.

Huffing in irritation, Axel slumped back in his seat and sneered at Tifa's back.

* * *

It seemed as though the bright light of the sun would be perpetual, at least for the time that Roxas remained solitary in his bed. It's heated rays disturbing his shallow slumber enough that irritation flared in the teen.

Gritting his teeth, Roxas flung the bed cover of and groggily clutched his head.

He'd had hardly enough sleep the night before, and the intensity of the sun made a headache swell in his head.

Exhaling, Roxas lurched up from the bed and towards his door, a sudden wave of nausea overcoming him. Lips clamped firmly shut, he grasped the door knob with a sweaty hand and yanked, a woosh of air from the hallway flushing into the room.

Fresher, cool air hit his face, but did little to calm his distraught stomach.

He staggered across the hall, and slumped directly against the bathroom door. Thankful he hadn't had far to go, Roxas groaned and shoved the door open, ignoring the harsh bang of the door knob upon the wall.

Downstairs, heavy footsteps and the thud of a door greeted Axel's content state. As expected, the pancakes were good.

It was a pity Roxas hadn't joined them for breakfast.

Tifa was still acting oddly, and it really was grating on Axel's nerves, yet he ignored it.

The sudden disturbance to the silence seemed to shake her from her revere though, and faster than anyone else Axel had ever had the pleasure of meeting, she bolted from the room.

* * *

**Ooooh, Tifa's acting odd and Roxas is lethargic. **

**Hmmm. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah, I'm alive. **_  
_

**Um, not much to say, 'sept I'm a slothful fucker. **

**Yay. **

**Uhhh, thank you for all the review! And hits! And yaah. Please enjoy, let me know what you think, and don't send me a letter bomb. You bastards. **

* * *

_When she was just a girl_

Once upon a time, I believed in God. Once upon a time, I believed in happiness. And once upon a time, I was not dying. Of course, there are other things that could be put in the category of 'once upon a time'. Like, once upon a time, my mother hated me. Once upon a time, my father was still here. Once upon a time, I had a brother. And, again, once upon a time, I had a dream.

_She expected the world_

You see, I wanted to be a SOLDIER. Yeah, I wanted to be one of the elite fighters, feared by the enemy, and praised by the people. I admired how lethal they were, I admired their skill and even their honour. I never really cared that the ShinRa Electric Power Company was not as valiant as their SOLDIER units. All I wanted, was to be a hero. All I wanted, was to be good.

All I wanted, was to be remembered.

But, there are certain requirements to be apart of SOLDIER. To be. One such requirement would be this;

_In order to be fully operational on the field, all SOLDIERS must have a clean bill of health; able to function with all given abilities. _

Apparently, (so I've heard), being colour blind is an infringement of said 'abilities'.

When I first realised this, I didn't understand.

I'm colour-blind? Are you sure? I've never noticed.

-Those were, quite literally, my first thoughts.

And then, I thought this; Of course I wouldn't notice. How the fuck am I supposed to know the difference between colour-blind and normal vision, if I've never had normal vision?

_But it flew away from her reach…_

And then, I cried.

I sat down on my bed, after locking my door, and I pulled my legs up towards my chest. I pulled my black and white duvet from my bed, and wrapped it around myself. Then, I let my head fall to my knees, and let the tears fall.

At that time, I was thirteen. A week off fourteen.

I'm not a person who cries easy. I can break bones, loose family members, friends, and have a traumatic experience, but I never, ever cry. A psychologist that I was required to meet with for a while when I was younger, said it's my psyche repressing my emotions. But, wouldn't I notice that?

Or is it like colour-blindness? I won't notice if I don't know what I've been missing the whole time.

Since then, I haven't cried. Right now, I'm seventeen, and a junior in high school.

You see, I think you need to know some information about myself, in order for you to actually understand my person.

My name is Roxas. Roxas Lockheart. My mother is Tifa Lockheart, and I am her second born son. As would be evident, I have an older brother. An older twin. His name is Sora. As far as I am concerned, he is not my brother, but a mere relation.

Some people say that you can't choose your family, but you should be grateful for them anyway. I used to agree, but some time ago, I changed my point of view.

They say that blood is thicker than water. I'm sure we have all heard that saying. Even now I still support that, but, only because I've made a blood-pact with my friends.

My true family, are my friends.

Hayner, Pence, Olette. They, are my family. And our blood-pact was to say that we would be together forever. We didn't share a paupu-fruit like Sora, Riku and Kairi. We didn't want to seem as though we were copying them, we couldn't bare the thought.

Well, I couldn't.

So we made a blood-pact, and a decade later, we've still stuck to it, true to the end. I hope that we always do, because I think without my friends, my life would be over. By my very own hand.

Enough about that.

As said, I am Roxas Lockheart. I am seventeen years old, a Junior at Twilight high school. I'm colour blind, which may explain why my favourite colours are black and white, I like to skateboard and I'm a very nostalgic person. I like sunsets, because they are poetically beautiful, and I like struggle fights, because they are a perfectly justifiable way to beat people you don't like.

I live at number 138 Disney Way, with my mother, her husband Reno, his son Axel, and my oldest brother Cloud. Sora doesn't live with us, instead choosing to live with my father Luxord, across town at Destiny Heights. Sora hates me, his twin, because of a many reasons. Because I look more like my father, who also hates me. Because I live with our mother, who adores him. It doesn't matter that he chose to live with Luxord. He say's it's because I live with her, so he won't. But most of all, Sora hates me because everyone who saw our 'family', thought that Sora was either adopted, or my friend. Never a son. Just…a cling on.

A leech.

As far as I'm concerned, he is. Anyway…

I don't mind Reno, because really, he isn't that bad. I find that when I'm alone with him, it isn't awkward, but he certainly isn't a father figure. He's too…childish. Too lenient. But, I am happy he's around. He makes life just a little more bearable, what with acting as a distraction/restraint to my mothers delusional tendencies. She isn't actually delusional, but she's such a bitch.

Axel, for the most part, is a freaking whore. I hate him. He's just so insufferable, and all he ever does is blame things on me. Roxas broke the plate. Roxas scratched the car. Roxas forgot to lock the door. Roxas made a mess. Roxas didn't feed the cat. Roxas stole my idea. God, how childish can you get?

I personally think Axel has it out for me. I mean, he shoves me into the hall walls, the lockers, throws my stuff out the window, and even puts things in my room to get me in trouble. Granted, he doesn't just randomly put them in my room, he takes them from his room to mine. Even though it would be easier just to put it back where he got it from.

Cloud is…Cloud. He's just Cloud. He can be quite depressing, and is usually very stoic. I don't blame my elder brother for his distant tendencies, because if I could, I would be like that too. Instead, I get angry easily, but generally, I'm apathetic. I just…don't care. Cloud, he does care, he just doesn't show emotions.

That pretty much sums up the people I live with. I wouldn't call them family, because we're nothing like that. We just…are.

And right now, I don't want to be.

'Cause I'm dying.

I, Roxas Lockheart, 17, Junior, twin, apathetic; am dying.

I'm dying, from cancer.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

No matter how hard I wish, how hard I prayed, how much money I would have paid.

There is nothing I can do about it.

_This could be para-para….paradise_

But really….I don't think it is…

* * *

**And that is the end, as you can see. **

**I don't know whether or not you liked it, but as far as I'm concerned, it was fine. Except it was a lil' shawt. _  
_**

**Cry cry cry cry cry cry cry die. **

**-TC**


End file.
